Hello, the feelings of being completely helpless and alone. Unfortunately, you are not welcome. Whatsoever.
I've wanted to blog for a while now. Mostly to sit here and rant about how my heart still hurts. And not to further confuse the woman who had left that horrid comment on my last post, I did not stop because of you.
Recently collected some more horrible news. I don't even think I have rights to be this upset over it. But here I am, stealing my friend's laptop, crying my eyes out, fighting the physical sickness. How could I think he too, would always be there for my enjoyment, comfortability and happiness? Selfish of me.
I think it's just that I feel replaced. I now think about if he is going to have a better relationship than he did with me. If he could possibly love her more...although that part I couldn't doubt. I made it hard for him to love me. And now I find myself thinking they won't ever have what we had..the tables have turned.
To this day I look back on the memories we made. I know no one could take that away from us... I just feel forgotten.
And suddenly so...god awfully alone. Like no one is even capable of loving me anymore. 'Cause as of now, the two main men in my life had something better before, or found something better after. And I thought I'd come so far.
As I rant about this, I can't deny I've been wanting to write about my most recent relationship ending. (some more.) Am I really the only unlucky one here? I suppose not. The woman he left me for is making everything confusing and painful for everyone. There isn't just one heart on the line. And I understand being confused, but too many people have been brought down for this to be right.
Well..tonight is another night to say fuck the world. My heart needs to forget everything I've ever known to be okay. Canada, here I come.
