The few comforts I found in my life are falling to pieces. My job, once my happy place, the store where I wanted to be, the people I wanted to be with, my escape. Cruel decisions with cruel intentions are slowly pushing us away. The people that maintain your store, with information, hard work and smiles day in and day out. The people that go above and beyond without recognition. And you have the nerve to go so far to disrespect us?
My last sense of home now lost as of today, and I didn't take the time to say bye to the house. Saying bye to my father was by far the hardest thing I've had to do in a while. I'd embraced him and my uncle in silence and "I love you's" various times today. No longer a place I could comfortably call "home" in this world.
How long has it been for you when you lost your sense of belonging, welcome and love?
Recently always on edge feels like it's also pushed my relationship to it's limits. Only a small sense of sanity left in me and I've been pushing him away. Sad, stressed and so angry all the time... I feel like most of the time I need to be alone to try and collect myself just to get through it all. Neglectful, rude, and uninterested, I'm so sorry, Jeremy.
I just don't know what to do any more. Looking for a place to live, for myself, hoping for a place for myself and my father and still being employed some where I won't hate the people I work for. I still hate that it's come to that. I loved my job. I was proud that I loved my job. That I loved the people I worked with and the people we helped daily.
But to help a man that hardly wants to help himself? Difficult. Even a man that I love more than any other, a man that has broken and shaped my being all at the same time. And I can't help but feel like I'd been helping the wrong people when my family seemed to have needed me more. I'm so sorry for this. We'll figure it out...
Do you remember the promises we made?
But somehow we have lost our way
Take me back to where our heart belongs,
Forever grateful everyday
