You're amazing, just the way you are...

I miss your smile. Your laugh. Mostly when you would laugh at me, and practically tackle me after I would say something silly. You're gorgeous. And I miss telling you every chance I got. I would inform you of what color your eyes were every day.
You talked to me yesterday, not for long, but it still put me in a better mood. You always made my day.
I made a silly deal with myself that I wouldn't text you first today... Because I would text you all day about random stuff without getting a response. And it made me feel relatively pathetic...
I kind of can't believe I've been throwing myself at you, regardless of Arie telling me you don't deserve it. And frankly, you don't...
But the way I see it, is if you do choose me... I'll let you back in whether you deserve it or not. Because we're happy.

You told me it scared you. How perfect and happy we are. You can see our future without a flaw, because we fit so well together. And you feel like if you're with me, everything's set.
"So... You got out while you could?" "You...want to be with someone you can't see yourself with forever?"
The answer you gave me was yes. And it doesn't make sense. I understand being afraid of how serious it could get. But I've told you there's no pressure whatsoever. I would never force you to stay with me. I would never force you to propose. We both know we're not ready for that, no matter how much my silly woman brain thinks about it :p

But you continue to toy with me, which I don't really appreciate...you know that. It's not fair to me, that you would be gone for a few days, see me the next and your mind seems to be made up. And it's me. I told you that if what you need is to see me, be with me, to make up your mind...why couldn't we be together?

Even with everything going on, we still make each other smile. It doesn't matter how long I've spent in tears when you've been away, or even when we're together. No one I know is like this.


Arie: "He wants his cake...or pie. Whatever the expression is."
I laugh hysterically.
Arie: "That's not it? ...oh."